2011 has been an interesting year, so far, to say the least.
there has been plenty of ups and downs. i know that sounds cliche but, it's the truth. for me, it was my last semester of my senior year at concordia. it was a very bittersweet thing for me. concordia has been the only thing i've known for the last four years so, it was hard imagining concordia not being a part of my life anymore.
one of the hardest things i've dealt with this year was the tornado in mapleton. it killed me that i couldn't be there for my parents (mom especially) the night it happened. i went home the very next day and to see my home town destroyed like that was very hard to swallow. to see my house in the condition it was, was hard but it wasn't as hard as driving around and seeing the families that had it worse then what we did. to see people picking through their belongings, crying, hugging loved ones and seeing all the volunteers brought tears to my eyes. it was comforting knowing that i lived in a small town that could come together in a time of need and really help each other out. i saw God through many people that weekend. for example, when i went home, i saw people i had never even seen before, raking up my back yard and cleaning up debris. God had His hand in everything and that is the most comforting thing to realize.
the thing the tops your own heartache, though, is the heartache you have for someone that is very close to you that is having an even shittier year than what you are having. it pains me to see someone so special in my life go through so many hard things and not being able to do anything about it. it breaks my heart to see the family go through the things they have been going through. I mean how can one family go through so much in a year let alone, months. it makes you start to question if God really does have their hearts in mind and realizes the pain that He is making them go through. how can a family go through so much ... when is the breaking point... when will God stop... why is He allowing all of this to happen? WHY?
God does have a plan in all the pain we go through in life... and certainly there are families that go through wayyyy more difficult things then what we are going through. i mean, there are people that struggle to eat on a daily basis because they dont have means to get food. i work at a shelter and i see constant pain in these womens lives, but that does NOT discount the pain we go through. yes, some people have it worse, but it is still painful to go through the trials we have.
i will pray on the behalf of my best friend. i will be a prayer warrior for her and her family. i will never stop praying for peace of mind, strength, courage, boldness and so on for them. God does have a plan for this pain that they are going through. we might not see the plan right away, but there will be a day where we see why we go through what we go through. it is just the matter of getting to that point and never doubting our great God that we have.
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassion's never fail.
They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait patiently for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
2 Corinthians 1:3-11
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
remember, God is love.