Sunday, May 30, 2010

.spoiled.

what do you think of when you hear the word "spoiled?" do you think of food that has gone bad, or maybe you think of those people that you know or you think you know, that are spoiled. well, i have been called spoiled by numerous of people and it always rubs me the wrong way, even though it is very true. i am spoiled and a lot of the time it frustrates me that i am.

when i was a kid, i got whatever i wanted. i don't think that i asked for something and didn't get it. i was a very fortunate child growing up. now, my parents weren't and still aren't loaded by any means but they worked their butt off to give me and my brother whatever we wanted. so being spoiled came at an expense for us. it meant that our parents were always working. my mother was not a stay at home mom, she worked all the time. which is why our grandma basically raised us. we would get dropped off at my grandmas house in the morning when both of my parents went to work and joe or my grandma walked me to school til i was old enough to walk on my own or until joe was too cool to walk his little sister to school haha you choose. anyway, we would go to school and come home and i would go to my grandmas and wait for my mom to get home from work and then go home and then have to wait til my dad got off work (which was very late most nights). i'm not saying that my parents weren't there for us because they were but they just worked so they could give us everything we wanted. when i was old enough that i could actually go out and get a job, i didn't have to. i was one of the few in high school that didn't work to get my own money, my parents paid for everything i wanted or needed and they still do. so yeah, call me spoiled. but you have no idea how hard it is to ask my parents for money. you do not know how conscious i am about spending their money while at school. you don't know how much i hated when they got me a BRAND NEW car a year ago when i totaled my other one by hitting a deer. i am 21 years old. i do NOT need a brand new car. but yet. i have one. of course i am not going to complain but you guys don't know how much i think about that and how bad i feel and thats why it rubs me the wrong way when people call me spoiled.

i started to think about this the other day when my mom (who is currently retired) started crying with both my brother and i in the room because she had wished that she could have been a stay at home mom for us. she feels like she missed out on us growing up. and now that she can actually stay home, both of us are grown up and have our own lives. well, i guess i wouldn't really say both of us have our own lives. my brother still lives at home but he has a full time job and i still depend on my parents for everything. but, she still feels guilty that she couldn't be at home all the time for us when we were growing up.

if you sit and think about it, we are all spoiled. we get to live in the united states of america. we have freedom. but most importantly. we have an amazing God. none of us deserve the love that we get from him day after day. we do not deserve the grace and peace that he gives to us. we did not deserve him dying on the cross for us. but he still did because he loves us. so, if you are sitting there reading this and thinking that man, i wish that i had parents that bought me a brand new car or i wish that i didn't have to work for my own money and blah blah blah. stop and think. do you have a roof over your head? are you warm at night? do you have food that you can eat whenever you want? do you have clean water to drink everyday? and, do you have the love of Jesus Christ? if you answered yes to any of the above questions then you, my friend, are spoiled. always remember, God is love.

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